Unmarried fathers: when you have rights, and what to do if they are disputed
The two ways an unmarried father gets full parental responsibilities and rights under section 21, what happens when the mother disagrees, and what an agreement can do.
- Last updated:
- 14 November 2026
- Checked against the law:
- 14 November 2026
The short answer
A mother has full parental responsibilities and rights. An unmarried father has them automatically in two cases: he was living with the mother in a permanent life-partnership when the child was born, or he has been identified as the father and has contributed, or tried in good faith to contribute, to the child's upbringing and maintenance for a reasonable period. A dispute about that must go to mediation first.
At a glance
- The mother
- Full rights, always
- Married or not (section 19).
- A married father
- Full rights
- If married to the mother at conception, at birth, or any time between (section 20).
- An unmarried father
- Full rights in two cases
- Section 21, set out below.
- Maintenance
- Owed either way
- Section 21 does not affect a father's duty to contribute to maintenance (section 21(2)).
What "parental responsibilities and rights" means
Four things: to care for the child, to keep contact with the child, to act as the child's guardian, and to contribute to the child's maintenance (section 18(2)).
The two routes in section 21
Route 1: you lived together
Section 21(1)(a)
At the time the child was born, you were living with the mother in a permanent life-partnership.
Route 2: you stepped up
Section 21(1)(b)
Whether or not you ever lived with the mother, all three of the conditions below are met.
Route 2 needs all three
- You consent to be identified as the father, or successfully apply to be identified, or pay damages under customary law
- You contribute, or have tried in good faith to contribute, to the child's upbringing for a reasonable period
- You contribute, or have tried in good faith to contribute, to the child's maintenance for a reasonable period
The Act does not say how long "a reasonable period" is. It applies whether the child was born before or after the Act came into force (section 21(4)).
If the mother disagrees
Mediation comes first
- Who:
- A family advocate, social worker, social service professional or other suitably qualified person
A dispute about whether the father meets the conditions must be referred for mediation (section 21(3)(a)).
Mediation is not safe if there has been abuse, threats or fear. If that is your situation, start with crisis lines and protection orders.
A court can review the outcome
- Who:
- Either of you
Any party to the mediation can have its outcome reviewed by a court (section 21(3)(b)).
If you do not qualify: an agreement
The mother agrees to share
- Who:
- The mother, or another person who holds the rights
She can enter into an agreement giving the father parental responsibilities and rights. She can only give what she herself holds (section 22(1) and (2)).
It is put in the prescribed form
- Who:
- Both of you
The agreement has to follow the format and contain the particulars that the regulations prescribe (section 22(3)).
It is registered or made an order
- Who:
- A family advocate, or a court
It takes effect only once it is registered with the family advocate or made an order of the High Court, a divorce court or the children's court. Either must first be satisfied that it is in the child's best interests (section 22(4) and (5)).
Only the High Court can confirm, change or end an agreement about guardianship (section 22(7)).
Once you both have rights
Day to day
Section 30
Each of you can act without the other's consent, unless a law or a court order says otherwise.
Difficulties
Section 33
You must first try to agree a parenting plan before going to court, with the help the Act requires.
Contact that an order gives
Section 35
Refusing or preventing it, against a court order or a registered agreement, is an offence.
What goes wrong
Assuming a father has no rights because he never married
Marriage is one way to full rights. Section 21 gives two others.
Worth checking: the two routes in section 21 against your own facts.
Assuming that being named as the father is enough
Being identified as the father is one of three conditions. Contributing to upbringing and to maintenance are the other two (section 21(1)(b)).
Worth checking: all three conditions of route 2, not only the first.
Nothing to show for what you contributed
The conditions turn on what was contributed, or attempted in good faith, over a reasonable period.
Worth checking: what record exists of money paid and time spent.
Linking contact to maintenance
The duty to contribute to maintenance stands on its own (section 21(2)).
Worth checking: that the two are being dealt with separately.
An agreement that was signed and put in a drawer
An unregistered agreement has no effect (section 22(4)).
Worth checking: whether it was registered with the family advocate or made a court order.
What to gather
Useful to have
- The child's birth certificate
- Proof of where you were living when the child was born
- Proof of maintenance paid, or offered: bank transfers, receipts, messages
- A record of time spent with the child, and of attempts that were refused
- Any written agreement or court order
What this means for you
Whether an unmarried father has rights depends on facts, not on a form: where he lived when the child was born, and what he has contributed since. The stronger the record of those facts, the shorter any dispute.
Sources
Every legal statement in this guide comes from one of these. We checked each statement against its source. A legal practitioner has not reviewed this guide.
Independent. Not a law firm. Legal information, not legal advice.