Parenting plans: what goes in one, who must help, how it is made official
When a parenting plan is optional and when it is required, what it covers, who has to help prepare it, and how it is registered or made a court order.
- Last updated:
- 14 November 2026
- Checked against the law:
- 14 November 2026
The short answer
A parenting plan is a written agreement between people who share responsibility for a child. It is optional when you agree. When you are having difficulties, the Children's Act says you must try to agree one before going to court, with the help of a family advocate, social worker or psychologist, or through mediation. It can be registered with a family advocate or made a court order.
At a glance
- What it is
- A written agreement about a child
- Between the people who share parental responsibilities and rights (section 33).
- Is it required?
- Before court, yes
- If you are having difficulties, you must first try to agree a plan (section 33(2)).
- Who must help
- A professional
- A family advocate, social worker or psychologist, or a mediator (section 33(5)).
- The test
- The child's best interests
- A plan must meet that standard (sections 7 and 33(4)).
Plainly can help you prepare for a parenting plan. It does not write one for you: the Act puts that work with the professionals above.
Mediation is not safe if there has been abuse, threats or fear. If that is your situation, start with crisis lines and protection orders.
What a plan can cover
The Act names four things (section 33(3))
- Where, and with whom, the child lives
- Maintenance for the child
- Contact between the child and each of you, and with other people
- The child's schooling and religious upbringing
Step by step
Work out what you already agree on
- Who:
- Both of you
Go through the four areas above. Write down where you agree and where you do not.
Listen to the child
- Who:
- Both of you
A child who is old and mature enough has the right to take part in decisions about them, and their views must be given due consideration (section 10).
Get the help the Act requires
- Who:
- A family advocate, social worker, psychologist or mediator
If you are having difficulties, you must seek either the help of a family advocate, social worker or psychologist, or mediation through a social worker or another suitably qualified person (section 33(5)).
Put it in writing and sign it
- Who:
- Both of you
A parenting plan must be in writing and signed by the parties (section 34(1)).
Make it official
- Who:
- Both of you
- Where:
- A family advocate, or a court
It can be registered with a family advocate or made an order of court. The application goes in with a copy of the plan. If the plan came out of difficulties, it also needs a statement from the professional who was consulted or who mediated (section 34).
What "best interests" looks at
A plan has to meet the child's best interests. The Act lists what counts (section 7).
Some of the factors
- The child's relationship with each parent and with other people who care for them
- Each parent's attitude to the child and to their responsibilities
- Each parent's capacity to meet the child's needs, including emotional ones
- The likely effect on the child of a change, or of being separated from someone
- How hard and how costly contact with a parent would be
- The child's age, maturity and stage of development
- The need for a stable family environment
- Protection from physical or psychological harm, and any family violence
- Which course avoids further legal proceedings
Decisions that need more than one of you
Day to day
Either of you
Each person who shares responsibility can act without the other's consent, unless a law or a court order says otherwise (section 30).
Major decisions
Consider the other's views
Before a decision likely to change the child's living conditions, education, health or family relationships significantly, the child's views must be considered, and so must the views of anyone else who shares responsibility and would be significantly affected (section 31).
Consent of all guardians
Unless a court orders otherwise
The child leaving South Africa, a passport application, marriage, adoption, and selling or bonding the child's immovable property (section 18(3) and 18(5)).
Changing a plan
Registered with a family advocate
Section 34(4)
The family advocate can amend or end it when the parties apply.
Made a court order
Section 34(5)
Only a court can amend or end it. The parties can apply, and so can the child or someone acting in the child's interest, with the court's leave.
What goes wrong
Going to court first
People who share responsibility and are having difficulties must first seek to agree a parenting plan before going to court (section 33(2)).
Worth checking: whether you have tried to agree a plan, and who helped.
A plan nobody qualified has seen
A plan that came out of difficulties needs a statement from the family advocate, social worker, psychologist or mediator involved (section 34(3)).
Worth checking: that you have the professional's statement to go with the application.
Blocking contact that an order gives
A person with care of a child who refuses or prevents contact, against a court order or a registered agreement, commits an offence, with a fine or up to one year in prison (section 35(1)).
Worth checking: what the order says, before a handover is refused.
Moving and not saying so
A person with care of a child who changes address must tell the other person in writing without delay. Not doing so is an offence (section 35(2)).
Worth checking: that the other person has your new address in writing.
Leaving travel and passports out
Both need the consent of every guardian unless a court orders otherwise (section 18(5)).
Worth checking: what the plan says about holidays abroad and passport applications.
What to gather
Before the first meeting
- The child's ordinary week: school, activities, who fetches and when
- School holidays, birthdays and religious days, and how you see them being shared
- What the child costs each month
- What the child has said they want, in their own words
- Any existing order or written agreement
- The points you already agree on, and the ones you do not
What this means for you
The plan itself is finished with a professional, because the Act says so. What you bring to that meeting is yours: the child's week, the costs, and a clear list of what is and is not agreed.
Sources
Every legal statement in this guide comes from one of these. We checked each statement against its source. A legal practitioner has not reviewed this guide.
Independent. Not a law firm. Legal information, not legal advice.